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Warning

by on March 20, 2011

Oh, you should not have come in here, with your curious eyes. Don’t start with me, don’t go ogling my stuff, don’t go touching anything. You’re defiling my perfection, the settee just so, the curtains so fine, all mine. You reek of sweat, and what is it – fear?

It’s dawning on you now. You’re reading the wrong story.

What was it? Idiot curiosity? Watery eyes mindlessly running down a page? I cannot be more clear: you are not wanted here. Fuck off.

There’s a girl on the chair, looking at you now. This is all your fault, you know, you should have gone away. Last chance: stop reading now. No one needs to get hurt. She’s pretty, isn’t she? Straight as a bone, sharp as an arrow. If you stop here, she will be just fine. Just fine.

But no. Well, it’s all on your head now, I’m not enjoying this one bit. Look at those ties, what is it – fishing line? Oh, cutting into her flesh, so sharp, so fine. Blood wells onto stretched nylon, drips onto my lovely rug. You’ll pay for this.

She cries. Such pain. And fear: she knows (I know what she knows) what a sick, sick fuck you are. She knows you’ll never stop, you’ll let her die, just for the sake of some dumb story. A story you won’t even remember tomorrow.

Tell you what: go now, and I’ll free her. I’ll stop the blood. I’ll give her a puppy, true love, a happy ending. I can do all that in here, I’ll do it just to get the stink of you out of my world.

Do we have a deal?

But no. Here you still are.

Well, it’s all on your head now.

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5 Comments
  1. This is nasty, and twisty, and circular, and unbelievably self-conscious, and I love it to bits. The narrator of the story responds to the reader, disliking their presence in the story; anything that happens in a story is the reader’s fault for reading. The tone is pitch-perfect, the torture theme very nicely highlights the reader/text interaction (is this a response particularly to the MicFic experience, by any chance?) and casts it as a highly disfunctional relationship.

    You done perpetrated metafiction! go you!

    • Parfles permalink

      Thank you! With a theme like vainglory, the self-conscious was all going to come out, wasn’t it?

      The idea that the world of fiction and art somehow depends on the reader / maker is one that has haunted me for some time. At some stage, I developed an obsession with not leaving doodles unfinished , so as to not leave them legless and disabled in doodleworld. Um. Obviously.

  2. A writer discovers a reader reading their story and starts blaming the reader when bad things start happening in the story.

    This is meta and nasty and great.
    The tone of the writer is very compelling. The protectiveness over the world and the accusatory approach to the reader work really well.

    Particular faves:
    > I cannot be more clear: you are not wanted here.
    and
    > I’ll do it just to get the stink of you out of my world.

  3. If you continue reading this comment you will be responsible for flattery and praise.

    Brilliant idea for a micfic; elegantly executed. Clever and witty, thought/conversation provoking in a good way, and pleasantly disturbing to read.

    My best bits:
    don’t go ogling my stuff
    I’ll give her a puppy, true love, a happy ending.

    On third or forth reading I picked up a few quibbles:
    she knows (I know what she knows) what a sick, sick fuck you are.- is a bit much complexity for me ‘I know that she knows what a sick fuck you are’ perhaps.
    Also somehow ‘A story you won’t even remember tomorrow. ‘ offends in a less pleasant way than the rest – not really sure why.

    This is the most fun I’ve ever had being called a sick, perverse, thoughtless, mindless, sadistic idiot bastard.

  4. This is about how we, the reader, are complicit with the author in a story’s construction / interpretation. I see it as the narrator noticing that someone (the reader) has “stepped in”, and is now sullying all the things that the author had thought were perfect (I presume that’s us readers interpreting things differently to the author). The author / narrator begins setting up a scene in which they’re hurting someone; it’s up to us, the reader, whether the pain continues.

    How odd to read this now! I’m busy reading “Mister B. Gone” by Clive Barker, which has some similar themes: a demon is trapped in a book, and our continued reading of “bad” things in the book highlights our evil intent.

    I enjoyed much of the writing here. I thought that
    > Look at those ties, what is it – fishing line? Oh, cutting into her
    > flesh, so sharp, so fine.
    read particularly well, with a good mixture of slightly longer bits, and shorter, punchy phrases.

    I enjoyed this 🙂

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